


Love? I hate the word! ... or do I?

by Ambrose



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5017144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/pseuds/Ambrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I’m in love with you. And I’m terrified."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love? I hate the word! ... or do I?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melvuin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melvuin/gifts).



> reposting here yet another one of those old tumblr prompt thingies.

“I think I’m in love with you. And I’m terrified, ” Tybalt admitted to his back.

It took a moment for Benvolio to register. Tybalt was definitely not used to making this sort of confessions, and the way he whispered it, Ben even doubted, for an instant, that he really said it. Maybe he dreamt it. That was definitely something he would have… Well, the first part, anyway.

But no, Tybalt must really have said it. And he probably did not think that Benvolio was awake to hear him. Nevermind, Benvolio was not going to pretend he hadn’t heard. They had been pretending too long already, he wouldn’t ignore him if he could help. And what for? Not embarrassing him? Thinking that was what he really wanted? And besides, when else would they talk about it?

So Benvolio turned on the bedside lamp and turned around, propping himself on his elbow to better look at his lover. Tybalt had never been one for displays of affection, but Benvolio understood him all the same. He’d learned to read between the lines. Now Tybalt looked indeed surprised to see him awake – and as frightened by his feelings as apprehensive of Benvolio’s reaction. And maybe slightly… hopeful? And of course all Benvolio wanted to do was to reassure him, but what if he scared him off more in the process? He smiled, not quite sure what to say to this.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s alright,” Benvolio interrupted him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

They were rarely so intimate, even when they shared a bed – unless they could pretend it was all an accident, like when he woke up to Tybalt cuddling him – and whatever had drawn them together in the first place stayed largely unspoken. Benvolio marvelled that Tybalt didn’t cringe or try to retreat from the touch. Even so, he felt a pang at the thought that Tybalt did not trust him enough yet to feel comfortable talking to him. That he didn’t know him enough to know there would be no judgement. He understood – Tybalt had never really been given the opportunity to trust the people around him, between the feud and his own relatives who never liked him much – but still he couldn’t help feeling like he wasn’t doing enough for him, if Tybalt still was afraid of the possible backlash. And yet, even though he tried to back away now, he still trusted him enough to have said it in the first place. Benvolio felt all the more self-conscious. Whatever he would say now could break everything.

“It’s alright,” he repeated.

But as he struggled to find his words, Tybalt shoved his hand away and made to sit up.

“Clearly it’s not,” he snapped. “I should have known better than…”

“No, it is,” Benvolio tried to assure him, keeping his voice down and trying to sound calm. He gently turned Tybalt’s head to make him look at him, and Tybalt did not resist. He looked scared and vulnerable, and Benvolio could feel that he hated it. “I’m sorry, I was just… not expecting it. I never said anything,” he went on before Tybalt could interrupt him, “because it was clear to me that you didn’t want to talk about it. I thought you would… in your own time… maybe.”

He just couldn’t  _not_  melt at the hopeful, perplexed look Tybalt had on – and Tybalt would hate to hear him say aloud that he found him adorable, he’d think he was mocking him, but the truth was, he was. He kissed him softly, and rested his forehead against Tybalt’s. He let his hand rest on Tybalt’s chest, over his heart. He hoped it said more than any words could.

Tybalt breathed out, and seemed to relax minutely.

“You don’t despise me,” he stated in disbelief.

Benvolio couldn’t quite believe his ears either. “Despise you? F– for expressing feelings?”

“Weakness,” Tybalt corrected, looking down.

“It’s not.” Benvolio had to protest. “You’re brave for having the courage to speak out. And for being here at all, being your own self when they want you to only be their tool.”

It was Tybalt who initiated the next kiss, and to Benvolio it seemed softer, more intimate than any they’d ever shared before.

“I’m just so used to having to fight,” Tybalt said after some time. “I’ve so often been told I can’t be happy unless your whole family is annihilated. I don’t know how it happened, it just did. And now – I have to face the fact that I can’t hate you, and all I’ve lived for, struggled for all my life is meaningless and… and I just don’t know what to do!”

Benvolio pulled him into a hug. “I’m afraid too,” he admitted. “And I have it easier than you. I can’t imagine… But I’m glad you told me, I…”

Well, he would have to say it eventually wouldn’t he. Tybalt had. So it had to be okay, right? It better be, because he didn’t know what he’d do if it wasn’t.

“I love you. And I’m happy to let you decide what we do, and to give you all the time and space you need, I’m just…” He got distracted for a second by Tybalt looking at him like what he was saying couldn’t possibly be real. “I’m just glad you trust me enough to tell me. We’ll figure it out together.”


End file.
